Parenting Through Perimenopause: When You’re Raising Little Kids and Falling Apart a Bit Yourself

Parenting small kids during perimenopause is a special kind of chaos. Here’s what no one tells you, plus real support, self-care that actually works, and how to cope when you feel like you’re about to break.

Some Days You Feel Like a Supermum. Other Days? You’re Screaming Into a Pillow at 7:42 am.

If you’re parenting young kids while also going through perimenopause, let’s start with this: You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing something really hard, and hardly anyone talks about it.

Society hands out either/or narratives: You’re a glowing, productive “older mum” with gratitude and a great skincare routine. OR You’re a woman in midlife, gracefully embracing yoga and tea and finally finding peace.

But what if you’re both? Bone-tired at 41. On your fifth toddler meltdown before 9am. Waking at 3am with night sweats, anxiety, and rage. Then making Vegemite toast like nothing’s wrong.

This is the invisible overlap: raising little people while your body is falling into hormonal chaos.

Let’s talk about it.

Why It Feels So Hard (Because It Is)

1. Hormones Are Fuel for Your Patience (and You’re Running on Fumes)

Estrogen and progesterone regulate mood, sleep, emotional regulation, and stress tolerance. When they drop or fluctuate? You become more:

• Overwhelmed by noise

• Sensitive to mess, chaos, and whining

• Reactive to small frustrations

• Easily overstimulated or shut down

You’re not “failing as a mum.”You’re trying to parent in a body that’s functioning on survival mode.

2. You’re Chronically Touched-Out and Emotionally Spent

When your kids are climbing on you, the dog’s barking, the baby’s crying and your partner asks, “What’s for dinner?” you don’t need more willpower. You need nervous system recovery. Perimenopause strips your GABA (calm chemical) and jacks up cortisol. Your system is raw.

3. Sleep? What’s That?

You’re parenting kids who wake at night… while also dealing with hormone-related insomnia. It’s like running a marathon on a twisty staircase in the dark, without shoes.

Sleep loss fuels:

• Mood swings

• Blood sugar dysregulation

• Cravings

• Rage, anxiety, and tears over spilled sultanas

This is not weakness. This is physiology.

When You Think You’re Going to Lose It

There are moments that feel dangerous. You yell louder than you wanted. You throw something. You walk out of the room shaking. You have thoughts that scare you.

You are not a monster. You are a human pushed to your absolute limit. And that deserves support, not shame.

If you ever feel like you might hurt your child -or yourself - pause and:

1. Remove Yourself From the Room

Put your child somewhere safe. Walk outside. Breathe. Splash cold water on your face.

2. Call a Helpline

Even if it feels like “too much.” Even if you’re scared. These are trained people who’ve heard it all before.

• PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) – 1300 726 306

• Parentline (QLD & NT) – 1300 30 1300

• Lifeline – 13 11 14

  
  

3. Tell Someone You Trust

Say the scary thought out loud. Let someone in. You are not the only one who has felt this way. You just haven’t been told it’s okay to say it.

What Actually Helps (Not Just Baths and Wine)

You don’t need more “mum hacks.” You need regulation, rhythm, and rest. Try this:

1. Bare-Minimum Mornings

Don’t aim for Pinterest-perfect. Just feed them, dress them, and skip the guilt. Coffee and cartoons count as parenting sometimes.

2. Protein for You First

Before tending to everyone else, eat something with protein and fat. It keeps your blood sugar stable and reduces mood crashes before school drop-off.

3. Micro-Moments of Nervous System Reset

• Breathe slowly through your nose for 2 minutes

• Splash cold water on your face

• Lay on the floor with your legs up the wall

• Put your hand on your heart and say, “This is hard. I am safe. I will not stay in this moment forever.”

  
  

4. Lower the Bar. Again.

Frozen fish fingers? That’s dinner. Dirty laundry? Tomorrow’s problem. A tired, loving mum who didn’t scream today? That’s enough.

Where to Find Support (That Doesn’t Shame or Exhaust You)

• PANDA Australia – for perinatal and parenting mental health

• The Menopause Friendly Australia Directory – for hormone-literate GPs

• Peach Tree (Brisbane) – community-based parenting and wellbeing

• Local Women’s Health Centres – often have free or sliding-scale counselling

• The Knew You Society – yes, this space right here. For midlife mums who want real talk and real tools.

  
  

Final Word: You’re Allowed to Need Help

Parenting is always hard. Parenting while hormonally unravelling is next-level hard.

You are not too emotional, too angry, too unstable, or too selfish.

You are a mother in the middle of the biggest chemical shift of your life, raising tiny humans without an instruction manual or enough sleep.

You are not alone. You are not weak. You are allowed to say, “This is too much,” and ask for better care, for your kids and for you.

Join the Knew You Society to learn more, share your experience, and find your strength in community.

References & Support Resources

• PANDA: www.panda.org.au

• Jean Hailes for Women’s Health: www.jeanhailes.org.au

• Newson Health Menopause Society: www.newsonhealth.co.uk

• Parentline QLD: www.parentline.com.au

• Lifeline Australia: www.lifeline.org.au