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Mood Swings or Midlife Rage? Why You’re Not Just ‘Being Dramatic’

Feel like you’re snapping, sobbing, or spiralling for no reason? You’re not losing it. Mood swings and rage are common symptoms of perimenopause, and here’s why.




One minute you’re fine… and the next? You want to throw your AirPods into the ocean.


That thing your partner just said? Infuriating. That email your coworker sent? Rage-inducing. That ad with the sad puppy? Instant tears.


If your moods are swinging harder than Miley on a wrecking ball, and everyone keeps saying “Maybe you just need to relax”, breathe. You’re not broken. You’re in perimenopause, and your brain is reacting to a chemical storm.


So, What’s Actually Going On in Your Brain?


Perimenopause isn’t just a hormonal event “down there.” It’s a full-on neurological event, affecting your brain chemistry in ways that are powerful, destabilising, and often misunderstood.

Here’s how:


1. Estrogen & Serotonin:

Estrogen helps regulate serotonin, your feel-good, mood-stabilising brain chemical. When estrogen drops (which it does erratically during perimenopause), serotonin can crash too, leading to irritability, low mood, anxiety, or a general case of “I hate everyone today.”


2. Progesterone & GABA:

Progesterone promotes GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), a calming neurotransmitter that helps you feel relaxed and balanced. Think of GABA as your brain’s natural “chill pill.” When progesterone levels drop, GABA drops too, and your brain is left revving like a car with no brakes.


3. Cortisol Sensitivity Goes Up:

You become more reactive to stress. What you used to brush off suddenly feels personal, overwhelming, or unbearable. This isn’t because you’re weak; it’s because your hormone buffer is gone.


Rage, Reactivity & The Invisible Triggers


Let’s talk rage. Not just irritability - rage. The kind where your kids leave a sock on the floor and you’re ready to pack your bags and start a new life in the forest.


Here’s why that’s happening:

  • Estrogen helps regulate emotion and impulse control. When it fluctuates, so does your filter.

  • Low GABA means you can’t calm down as quickly. Once the fire is lit, it takes longer to extinguish.

  • Sleep deprivation makes it worse. You’re tired, underslept, and out of bandwidth.


You may also feel:

  • Overwhelmed in crowds or noisy environments

  • Super sensitive to criticism or rejection

  • Prone to crying randomly (in the car, in the pantry, at your desk)

  • Like you don’t recognise yourself anymore


This isn’t weakness. It’s wiring.


It’s Not “Just Stress” (Even If Life Is Stressful)


A lot of women get brushed off with “It’s just stress.” But here’s the thing: Yes, modern life is intense. But what’s different now is your internal chemistry. You’re running on fewer resources, and your nervous system knows it.


You may have coped fine before. But now? Your body is asking (okay, screaming) for support.

What Actually Helps (And It's Not Just Bubble Baths)


1. Eat to Stabilise Blood Sugar

Blood sugar crashes = cortisol spikes = mood crashes. Prioritise:

  • Protein at every meal (especially breakfast)

  • Fibre-rich carbs + healthy fats

  • Limit ultra-processed foods and wine binges (sorry, rosé)


2. Magnesium (Especially Glycinate)

Magnesium supports:

  • GABA production

  • Nervous system regulation

  • Sleep and muscle relaxation. Start with 200–400mg magnesium glycinate at night (check with your GP).


3. Move Your Body—But Don’t Punish It

Exercise boosts serotonin and GABA, and helps burn off rage-y energy.

Try: walking, strength training, yoga, dancing like a maniac in your kitchen.


4. Set Boundaries Like a Pro

You don’t have the bandwidth to people-please your way through perimenopause.

Say no more. Cancel things. Don’t justify. You need space to regulate.


5. Try Adaptogens

Herbs like ashwagandha, rhodiola, and holy basil can help reduce cortisol sensitivity. They’re not magic, but they can take the edge off. (Check with your healthcare provider before taking supplements, as they can interact with some medications)


6. Micronised Progesterone (Rx)

This can be life-changing for mood and sleep. It supports GABA directly and has a natural sedative effect. If you’re struggling, talk to a menopause-informed GP.



When to Seek Help


🚩 Speak to a professional if:

  • Your mood swings are affecting your relationships or work

  • You’re dealing with daily irritability or rage

  • You feel hopeless, anxious, or numb most of the time

  • You’re crying often and don’t know why


Perimenopause is a vulnerable time for depression and anxiety onset, even in women with no history of mental health issues. Don’t brush it off. You don’t need to suffer through it.


You’re Not Crazy. You’re Chemically Out of Balance.


Perimenopausal mood swings are real, intense, and incredibly under-discussed. But they’re also treatable. Speak with your GP about possible HRT options. It's generally very safe, and it might make all the difference.


This isn’t about “handling it better.”It’s about understanding what your body is asking for, and giving yourself the support, compassion, and science-backed care you deserve.


🧠 Reminder: What is GABA?


GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is a neurotransmitter that works like a brake pedal for your brain. It helps slow down nervous system activity and makes you feel calm, grounded, and less reactive. Low GABA = tension, anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability. Hormones like progesterone help stimulate GABA. So when progesterone drops in perimenopause, your ability to calm the hell down drops with it.


Join the Knew You Society to learn more, share your experience, and find your strength in community.



📚 Sources & Further Reading

 
 
 

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